When Geese fly north in Winter

I’m going to find the remedy. Yes!
The very thing got you into this mess.
You’ll cheer, and you’ll praise
The savvy I show.
It will not take days;
You’ll see, and you’ll know.
I’ll find you the gadget,
The thing-a-ma-jig.
As sure as my name is
Mahalia McFig.

I’ll chop it down, build it up,
Say what you need.
I’ll get you a Band aid
Before you can bleed.
If someone does you wrong,
I’ll bring him to court
Before he can protest,
Grumble or snort.
Through miles of mudballs
And acres of sludge,
He’ll come dragging his sorry
Feet to the judge.

I’ll get you a lawyer,
A hot shot one sure,
And every complaint that
You have, he’ll adjure.
I’ll bring over my car,
Take you everywhere,
Get you all kinds of do-dads
To frizzle your hair.

If you want to skydive,
I’ll call pilots too,
Who’ll let you stay alive,
Drifting down in the blue.
Take you to sandy beaches,
Where you’ll warm your toes,
Steer you clear of leeches,
Gift you with a rose.

If that’s not enough,
I’ll come mow your lawn,
Make your bed, pillows fluff,
Watch your house when you’re gone.

What’s that? You’re asking
Me to do something?
When geese fly north in winter
And south in the spring.